Now this is a story

All about how

My life got turned, flipped upside down

Don’t listen to the Crimson

They only got it half right

I’ll tell you how I became the victim of that psycho ass Brazilian.

In high quality farmhouses, born and raised

In backyards, is where I spent most of my days

Laying eggs, grazin’, a cock a doodle doo

Crossing empty ass roads to give me something to do

When that moment arrived, I got the call of my dreams

Sorkin said I’d be a shoe in out there in Hollywood

But there was one little catch, I’d be stuck in a cage

I should have known those crazy motherfuckers were up to no good

I begged no I pleaded

But wardo didn’t care

He yelled in my face and said PETA IS DEAD

What did I do wrong, man I didn’t know

And the scary thing was that fried stuff tasted good

I got lawyers who specialized in poultry affairs

And when they asked why

His friend just said ‘oops’

I would never be the same

My friends were ashamed

All my straightedge street cred

Was thrown down the drain.

- As Told by Florence the Chicken to James Edward Franco and co-troll, Monica.

Brenda Song, during the scene where they meet Sean/Justin is like an arm rest at the movie theater.

inconveniently placed because you couldn’t give a billion zucks about where to put your drink because all you want to do is give your boyfriend a handjob while the lights are down.

MOVE, GIRL. shit.

jumping on the bandwagon.

i still remember logging onto my other account hearing all these people flail over that movie that i mistakenly called ‘the facebook movie.’ i remember thinking about how stupid that film had to be. how bored someone must have been to take the store of a young billionaire and create a two hour screenplay based on his life.

oh, how wrong i was.

i finally watched the film and i still remember when i first heard that line. THAT LINE.

‘did i adequately answer your condescending question?’ 

you have to understand. this kid. this guy i had seen in adventureland and zombieland. he was giving me goosebumps.

this random british kid. who the hell is he? now i’ve seen several of his films and i’m in love with not only his face but his talent.

the whole cast. that fantastic cast. the director. flawless. the writer. inspririnspiringgginspiring (playful jab at andrew right there).

i flail over this movie because it speaks to me. it proved me wrong.

BUT THIS FANDOM. you beautiful people.

i have never enjoyed talking and laughing and crying with people i don’t know in real life so much in my entire 21 almost 22 years of living. you are all perfect. you are the funniest people i have never met and i truly wish i could meet you all.

last night my dashboard was incredibly chaotic and i couldn’t have been happier. i couldn’t keep up with any of it but that was okay. i didn’t care. you guys are the nicest and sweetest people ever. the messages you leave me and the things you write in your tags (okay, i’m not crying). i would rather be on this blog with 500 less followers than i have on my ‘personal’ than on that blog where people only followed me because of some random someecard i posted.

i cannot wait to continue on fangirling with you guys as we dance and prance with our jewnicorns through their future endeavors. jesse and andrew and armie and justin and david and aaron and everyone will continue to be friends and so will we.

may the force be with you all.

hey you guys! i made my own someecard!

oscar predictions:

jesse and andrew will have jewnicorn sex during all commercial breaks:

done.

i can’t. you guys i have nothing left to give this fandom. i am weak. you guys have stolen everything from me and i’m not upset about it at all. everything is just too perfect.

that awkward moment when you kill bill murray and you ask him if he has any regrets

and he tells you garfield.

then you realize he was a timelord from the future talking in code:

but now it’s too late because your boyfriend’s a serial killer and if you leave him you will die.

oh no, guys, this is bad:

well obviously, we’ve got some tech nerds at harvard university

they’re writin’ on your windows

they’re snatchin your people up

tryin’ to rate you

so you better hide your faces

hide your friends

and hide your chickens cause they ratin’ errybody up out there

you don’t have to come and confess

we lookin for you

we gon sue you 

we gon sue you

so you can run and tell that

run and tell that

run and tell that

homeboy, home home homeboy

andrew is going to kill everyone who liked or reblogged that picture of jesse.

#hey mark, the tubs ready. let’s go before the water gets cold. i even got that little rubber ducky you like.

as he looks down at andrew after a job well done.